It’s not very often that my husband and I get to spend an evening out of the house with other adults. So, when a friend who knows about my Celiac Disease diagnosis invited us over for dinner I quickly accepted the invitation.
She was wonderful about my dietary restrictions, too, running every item on the menu past me for safety. Since I’m still learning what I can and can’t have myself, this meant I had to look almost everything up with both of us becoming increasingly frustrated.
Finally I told her, “Look, if a food is more than one step away from requiring water or sunlight I probably can’t eat it.” That certainly seemed to simplify things. She came up with a fantastic menu, too: corn on the cob with butter, salad, baked potatoes and grilled ribeye steaks. No gluten worries on that menu, right?
I knew I was in for problems when we walked in to find she’d made a gorgeous spread of appetizers. The first thing I saw: a platter of crackers and toast rounds sitting next to a bowl of dip and plates of sliced cheese and celery sticks. Well, cool, I’d have the latter two and steer as far clear of the others as possible.
And I did steer clear, too, or at least as much as possible. Still, I felt like a jerk when I’d back away from her toddler who kept running around with a cracker in his hand and when I had to ask my husband to wipe the crumbs off my chair before we sat down for dinner. I skipped the butter on my corn, too, because I know people who don’t have to live GF don’t realize that crumbs in the stuff from that morning’s toast can mean a night of misery for someone with CD.
Oh, it was heart-breaking to skip the two beautiful desserts she’d made: an Oreo pie and some strawberry fluffy thing in a graham cracker crust. But having felt so much better over these past couple of weeks without eating gluten I wasn’t going to risk it. (Not to mention that I’ve enjoyed having lost 6 pounds in two weeks, a faster and easier loss than any weight loss pill has ever delivered.)
Still, despite her best efforts and mine, I got glutenated.
Within moments after finishing dinner I felt the bloat coming on. A gluten reaction-style bloat isn’t like a PMS bloat or even one triggered by eating too much salt. It’s painful, it’s sudden, and it signals the need to have a bathroom well away from polite society soon. I looked to my husband and told him we needed to go – now! – and he simply nodded then went back to his conversation. He, too, is still learning what it’s like for me to get glutenated now otherwise he would’ve understood the urgency.
Moments later my son began acting grumpy. He’d had very little sleep the night before and, despite my best efforts to get him to nap he hadn’t, so I somewhat expected he’d begin acting out later in the evening. Ordinarily I would’ve responded with a quiet one-on-one talk and dire threats of losing his PlayStation privileges if he didn’t snap out of it. But because I needed to get home and he’d provided me with the perfect excuse — one which wouldn’t offend my hostess — I could’ve kissed him (except he’d eaten the crackers).
Halfway home I began itching. Then the stomach cramps grew excruciating. By the time we pulled into the driveway my head was throbbing and I couldn’t think straight. Just getting out of the van and walking toward the bathroom was exhausting. Then the sneezing and hacking started and I felt like I couldn’t possibly hock up all the mucous in my throat, but that was okay since I was soon throwing up into the trash can (the toilet being occupied by my other end already).
It was miserable, to say the least. The saddest part is that I now realize my days of dining out are over. Oh, maybe someday my body will have healed enough that I won’t be so sensitive, but for now any risk of even the smallest gluten contamination isn’t worth it.
On a positive note, though, having witnessed the severity of my reaction last night, my husband said this morning, “Man, I don’t know how we’re going to be able to visit my family if you react like this to accidental exposure. I guess we’ll have to stay at a hotel whenever we go up there, huh?”
Mixed blessing, this Celiac stuff.