Plus-size Fashion Posts

I absolutely despise most clothing designed for “larger sized” women. Typically, it’s little more than a skinny woman’s outfit enlarged many times over without respect to proportion, pattern, or even how certain fabrics do not and never will flatter ample curves. Take Jersey knit dresses, for instance.

Being a sort of artsy-fartsy dresser myself, finding clothes that suit my tastes while also flattering my figure has been immensely frustrating. Most clothing manufacturers seem to think that you’ve got no business wearing their clothing if you’re not skinny.

And then there are designers like Vicki Vi who create flattering clothes for women with curves. Vi is among the many designers featured at Bodacious Boutique, an awesome online source of pluz size clothing.

I’m not talking about a clothing store run by some emaciated waif who’ll stand there feeling sorry for you while pretending that, yes, you do look good in that polka-dotted caftan dress. Paula Guthrie, the owner of Bodacious Boutique, is a woman just like us: full-figured and fashionable, too.

With offerings running the gamut from 0x (basically an extra-large) up to 4x — or 14-28 in Women’s — the boutique has you covered from head-to-toe. While most items are priced in the moderate (but not discount) range, their “Deal of the Week” is not to be missed — we’re talking prices so affordable you can buy an entire outfit or two! They even carry plus-sized swimsuits in figure-flattering styles, including the coveted Miraclesuit swimwear line. (I can tell you from personal experience, those suits are aptly named.)

So, ladies, skip the shop that’s trying to convince you to cram your curves into clothes designed for the skinny minis. And don’t you dare start wearing those tent-shaped dresses, either. Next time you want clothes to fit your figure, go to a store founded by a woman who knows all about helping you look bodaciously beautiful. Then sit back and enjoy it when even your svelte friends start asking “Where did you get that gorgeous blouse?”

Once upon a time, long before J.Lo.’s derriere made bubble butts fashionable, I hid mine under long sweaters or tunic blouses. Then her hindness entered the picture and Sir Mix-A-Lot’s song “Baby Got Back” got everybody singing the praises of a bodacious behind, and for a very brief point in my life my callipygian curves were cool.

Then I had my first child and from that point forward I was more worried about the collapse of my cleavage than about the plummet of my posterior. Those pretty little $5 bras I’d pick up at Wal-Mart? I tossed them in favor of the kind of supportive bra that only an engineer could design: massive straps, ribbing in all the right places, enough metal in the underwire and clasps to set off an airport alarm even when I’m just driving past.

Now, I don’t mind wearing such things if it’ll take care of the ta-ta’s and keep them from hitting me — or anyone else — in the eye when I walk.

But an ass bra? That’s so not happening.

Today is one of those “false Spring” days when the sun is just a tad brighter, the air just a bit warmer than it’s been in weeks. Not that the temperatures actually qualify as warm, mind you: it’s still just 34°F outside, but that’s a good 20 degrees higher than it was a week ago.

On days like this I tend to start thinking about gardening: planting spinach, lettuce, sweet peas and other cool-weather crops. It looks like it would be a good day to do just that, but I know better. I’ve dug in a bit too early for three years in a row now, only to lose my tender plants to a late snowstorm that no one saw coming.

This year, instead of getting ready for Spring by meddling in the garden, I decided I’d do something a little less labor-intensive… like shopping. I’m in dire need of something to wear besides sweatshirts and sweatpants, and the Big-Eyed Boy has grown so much over the winter that his jeans now look like he’s wearing capris.

Unfortunately, despite nearly two hours at the local mall, I still haven’t found anything suitable. It seems that clothing manufacturers figure that all women with bulging bellies are either in the market for maternity clothes or unnaturally drawn to cute cartoon characters.

Oh, there are plenty of roomy muffin-top disguising swing blouses available… in pastels normally suited to a newborn’s nursery. And there are oodles of sweatshirts featuring bunnies and duckies, some even with sequins. I’d rather be shot before wearing something that cutesy.

Which is why I suppose I’m glad this is a false Spring; I have that much more time to shed a bit of belly weight before trying to squeeze into a blouse that doesn’t make me look like I’m ready to give birth any moment.

This is definitely a great time of year to save big by stocking up on out-of-season clothing. But did you know you can save even more if you piggyback online coupon codes with store sales?

Macy’s, for instance, is offering $25 off of $100 purchases. Combine that with their end-of-summer sale and there’s all sorts of savings to be had. If you’re in the market for new bath and bedding items, they’re offering free shipping, too.

There’s an even better deal over at Chadwick’s. If you buy 2 clearance items you get the 3rd free and you can get a $20 off of a $60 purchase and score a free quilted jacket with any purchase.

I didn’t really need a new jacket this year, but I’m not about to pass by one that’s free. Come to think of it, there’s no rule that says I have to shop for me. I may just order it in my mother-in-law’s size and consider my shopping for her done for the year. Sweet!

I did it. I finally broke down and stopped pretending that my Gap and Guess jeans still fit. I went with my husband and son to our favorite mall today and didn’t even pause to leave my drool prints on the window at BCBG. I marched — ok, waddled — past the stores in which I usually shop and set foot for the first time in a Lane Bryant.

Not that I haven’t shopped LB’s before. I’ve just done it online where anonymity and electrons protect me from the pitying stares of skinny people walking by with “Pity about her fat ass, because she has such a pretty face” written all over their own.

Until now, though, I’d limited my LB purchases to a handbag, some necklaces and quite possibly the single most comfortable pair of yoga pants I’ve ever worn.

Today, I just couldn’t take it anymore. We’d gone out for sushi, see, and as usual I overindulged in my love of spicy salmon rolls and whatever the sushi chef recommended. (Answer: damn near everything.) We hadn’t even begun window-shopping and already my waistband threatened to cut off circulation to my lower body. Also, it was hot.

Being hot and uncomfortable is never a fun experience for Chubby Mommy. Bad enough to be laboring for breath but also sweating? I might as well be exercising… and we know how much I hate to do that.

So I stepped into the LB Outlet store with the intention of sucking up as much of their air-conditioning as possible before re-joining my husband and son (who were enjoying their skinny selves at Coldstone Creamery with little regard for my misery).

Well, I was there already, why not try on some clothes? In fact, why not try on some jeans and maybe find something a bit less restrictive than the Gap pair shrink-wrapping my body as my sweat dried.

That’s when I found them: the new LB “Right Fit” jeans.

Jeans that actually fit both my ass and my waist… a waist which, it turns out, I actually still have when clad in pants designed to follow curves, not fight them. Jeans — most importantly — that don’t promise all sorts of stretchy material and then look like they’re made out of, well, all sorts of stretchy material. Jeans that are lightweight, perfectly comfortable and actually reveal that my ass does not reside on the back of my knees.

I bought three pairs. Yep, three! Then I slipped back into the dressing room and swapped my Gap crap for one of the new pairs before strutting out, wholly comfortable and quite confident again.

My husband came out of Coldstone licking the last of his Chocolate Devotion off of his lips and said, “Hey, have you lost weight?”

My son said, “Mommy, where’d your Buddha Belly go?”

I have to admit: I felt SO much better about my body, too, even without having slipped on the leopard print “boy short” panties still in my shopping bag.

Best money I’ve spent in a long time. (And, yes, the panties look great, too.)

It was only a matter of time before the male bra, coined in an episode of Seinfeld, actually caught on.

To ease discomfort experienced by overweight males whose chests, like those of their female counterparts, bounce, wobble and tug during exercise, creators of the “Male Support Vest” (manufactured by bra company Enell) are marketing their “manssiere.”

At a whopping $85 each, the item’s not expected to catch on with mainstream America. After all, there’s quite a bit of stigma attached, what with all those jokes between Kramer and Frank Costanza.

I’m guessing any guy who springs for one will figure out faster than my daughter did, when she finally got her first bra, that the damn things are more pain than they’re worth.

To look at most clothing stores, you’d never know that the average American is considerably overweight. Size-2 and even -0 clothes crowd store racks, draped on hangars almost as thin as the women flipping through them. Until now, the rest of us had to settle for flowing dresses under hip-hiding blazers when we wanted to dress up for a night.

Not anymore! This gorgeous satin “Marilyn” dress ($69.99, in various colors) comes in plus-sizes and shows off those curves to advantage. The halter-style top is flattering to any figure, with a plunging neckline that elongates the torso and narrows the waist, and the 3/4 length is flattering to most heights. Arms not in the best shape? No worry: the dress comes with a matching scarf, too. Use it as a shawl, or wear it Audrey Hepburn-style.

Get yours here.