Some days it feels like I’ve tried everything — everything — to lose weight. I’ve eaten low fat, I’ve eaten low-carb, I’ve watched my glycemic index, increased my exercise and tripled my water intake. I spent a week eating clear broth before every meal in an attempt to reduce my appetite. I’ve taken Alli and I’ve sucked down more Slim Fast shakes than I care to remember. During those two weeks, I might add, my aerobic exercise increased, too, if you’re willing to include the heart-pumping race to get to the bathroom on time.

I’ve tried setting small goals and promising to reward myself if I meet them (jewelry is, after all, a wonderful motivator). I’ve even extracted a promise from my husband that I can buy a completely new wardrobe — no questions asked — if I manage to lose 40 pounds. Still, no luck.

Sometimes it feels like I’ve tried just about every possible alternative to weight loss short of abandoning every activity in my life in favor of living on my exercise bike.

According to a recent health report, it might not be my fault. Someone may have infected me with adenovirus-36, a human virus that appears to promote weight gain.

An American team led by Dr Magdalena Pasarica, from Pennington Biomedical Research Centre at Louisiana State University, Baton Rouge, obtained tissue samples from a cross-section of patients who had undergone liposuction.

From the samples, they isolated adult stem cells – immature cells which have not yet developed a specific role in the body.

Half the stem cells were exposed to ad-36 and half not.

After a week, most of the virus-infected stem cells, but none of the non-infected cells, had grown into fat-storage cells.

“We’re not saying that a virus is the only cause of obesity, but this study provides stronger evidence that some obesity cases may involve viral infections,” said Dr Pasarica, who presented her findings at the annual meeting of the American Chemical Society in Boston.

Sure, I know it’s probably just another one of those weird health reports that won’t amount to a “breakthrough” for dieters. But let me just say now that if it does pan out and I do find that I “caught fatness” from someone else, they’d better pray I’ve been slacking off on exercise because, otherwise, I’m going to hunt them down and pound them into sand.