30Jan
Off

I Have No Regrets About Not Attending

Despite the “marriage penalty” built into the U.S. tax system, I have a record number of friends getting married this year. Maybe the economy has something to do with it: it’s cheaper to pay for one home, after all, than to keep two separate residences for propriety’s sake when everyone knows you’re really only using one.

I suspect the economy is also the reason I’m receiving wedding invitations from people I barely know but who should know me well enough to realize I don’t like them.

Yes, I do plan to attend a couple of weddings this year for friends whose union I’m actually thrilled to witness. But, because they’re friends, I know they’ve invited me for my presence more than my presents. Even so, I plan to get serious about dropping 10-15 pounds so I look good in their pictures. (Also, so I can find a dress that doesn’t look like it came from the camping section in Wal-Mart.)

The others? Well, let me put it this way: if they weren’t too cheap to have an open bar at their receptions I might actually have accepted their invites. At least that way I know I’d be getting my money’s worth for bringing a present.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Life
  1. Tracy says:
    January 30, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    I recently got engaged and I have to admit we have discussed making it a long engagement. For several financial reasons we may be better off to be seperate individuals. That is really said that we have come to that point in society.

  2. Chubby Mommy says:
    January 30, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    The tax bite is a booger, although I hear that reforming it is on Congress’ schedule in the coming year.

  3. Donna B. says:
    January 31, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    I fear the reform. I’m just sure they’ll make it worse somehow.

    I’m ambivalent about the open bar reception. My oldest got married the day after her college graduation, two days after she was commissioned in the Army… and, well I didn’t want to pay for booze for a bunch of fresh college grads, thus a cash bar.

    She invited 400 people. Hubby had just graduated from a different college and was commissioned in the Air Force the same weekend. According to the restaurant’s count, 310 attended.

    I fed them a full meal, provided champagne for toasts, and then it was a cash bar. Everyone was having such a good time, the restaurant had to kick us out at midnight.

    Youngest daughter’s wedding cost us twice as much and we took the groom’s traditional part of the costs. She got married in her husband’s hometown, which is where they planned to live. His parents had money. We don’t! We paid where we could, but I would not be surprised to find out that wedding cost $60 or $70 thousand dollars. Or more. On top of the $10 thousand we put up.

    The bachelor party was a deep sea fishing trip, for example. Engraved invitations (addressed by a calligrapher!), a piper, a live band at the reception, every out of town guest invited to the rehearsal dinner (open bar), a day-after brunch (open bar too.)

    There were events for five solid days. I drank more that week than I have since. I was so frickin’ nervous because I have no class, you see. AND, my daughter, bless her, thought I was talented enough to make her dress and the bridesmaids dresses, which I did. Believe me, I drank at the reception because I was so relieved none of them fell apart in front of the 600 (out of 750 invited) attending the wedding.

    Of course, I eventually made a fool of myself at the reception hitting on one of the ushers, who I still think is one of the hottest men alive. He’s now my son-in-law’s boss, so I still get to see him occasionally. He’s a jerk, now that I know him better but still incredibly, handsomely, hotly masculine. And about 25 years younger than me.

    Pardon me for rambling…