It’s that time of year, and I’m not talking about Christmas. I’m talking about what comes afterwards, when everyone I know will be sharing their New Year’s Resolutions and politely waiting to see if I will share mine in return.

Well, I’m not.

I am NOT going to resolve to diet next year. Oh, no, most definitely not. I will resolve to eat more fruits, raw and steamed veggies and salads, but I’m not going to make a resolution coming out and pledging that I will abstain from anything.

I am NOT going to resolve to quit smoking. No, last time I did that I just felt guilty the next day after I’d lit up and, after smoking half a pack by dinnertime, assuaged my guilt with second helpings on everything… and thirds on dessert. So this year I will improve my knitting skills to give my hands something to do and I’ll make a point of carrying gum in my purse at all times.

I am NOT going to resolve to exercise regularly. I hate exercising. Always have, always will. I do, however, like to have an hour or so to myself daily. I also like yoga. I’m going to try to make a point of locking myself into my bedroom regularly to enjoy both of these things at the same time.

I am NOT going to take a photo of myself in bra and undies and pledge that by the end of the year I’ll be X sizes smaller. I’m pretty darned sure I couldn’t find my camera even if I wanted to, anyway, and I’m not about to charge up the camcorder batteries and do an actual live footage shot. But I am going to start buying pretty clothes that fit me in my current size instead of schlepping around in funky, torn sweats all the time. I miss feeling good about how I look, regardless of what size my label says I am, and it’s time I did something about that.

I am NOT going to resolve to lose X pounds by a certain date. I’m pretty darned good at looking at a calendar and realizing when my goal is so unrealistic that I might as well go ahead and have a Twinkie or two dozen. So instead I’m going to celebrate each and every single pound I lose — even the ones caused by stomach virii or sore throats — and hope that such celebrations will encourage them to stay gone for good.

Feel free to share all the New Year’s Resolutions you make for yourself, but pardon me if I don’t exactly share mine in return. I’ve simply decided that I’ve spent most of the past year telling myself things that I’m not going to do — and then going out and doing those precise things.

So this year I’m giving myself the best Christmas present of all: permission to feel fine about myself all year long in 2008. And what do you know? It’s just my size.