10Mar
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Some Days Menopause Sounds Fun

Being 40-something sucks. There’s just something about that age that’s neither here nor there: I’m no spring chicken, but anyone out of their ‘teens protests when I say I feel old. In the grand scheme of things, I’m not… and yet my brain can’t help recognizing that I’m no spring chicken anymore, either.

Not that my brain’s willing to accept that fact, mind you. It’s does a nice job of blanking out this fact: whenever I’m asked my age I start to answer, “Oh, I’m thirty-tw… uh… forty? Yeah, forty.” My brain doesn’t even acknowledge what my eyes attempt to make it recognize, either. When I look into the mirror I don’t see my face being any different from when I was in my early 30s. Then again, I don’t see much difference in my body from then, either… even though the scale and my clothing sizes tell a much, much different story.

But the truly annoying part of being 40-something: dealing simultaneously with both gray hair and pimples, oily skin and wrinkles, taking Midol for menstrual cramps and progesterone for hot flashes, while squirming into hip huggers and support hose. It’s a not-quite-here-nor-there age when adding Metamucil to Red Bull makes perfect sense.

My doctor tells me that I should enjoy this age, since “forty is the new thirty” and, besides, menopause is right around the corner. He says that latter part like it’s a bad thing, but to me it means an end to monthly cramps, breakouts and bloating and an eventual end to the annoying hot flashes that have me changing clothes more often than a teenage girl.

Besides, as soon as The Change hits I’ll be able to get away with wearing Mom Jeans again, which means no longer having to spend hours shopping for a blouse that hides my muffin top without making me look pregnant. It also means no one would ever glance at my stomach and ask “When are you due?” They’d know what they’re looking at is fat, just as I’ve known it for a couple of years now, too.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Living With Fat
  1. Menopause Information and Medication says:
    March 11, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    s Wall Street Journal Melinda Beck wrote a fair and well-balanced article on a woman’s choice when it comes to Hormone Replacement Therapy. The articles on this subject are usually so one-sided with nary a mention of …Some Days <b>Menopause</b> Sounds FunBeing 40-something sucks. Theres just something about that age thats neither here nor there: Im no spring chicken, but anyone out of their teens protests when I say I feel… Visit ChubbyMommy.com to read the rest!

  2. Chelle says:
    March 10, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    I am so right there with you. This thing they call “perimenopause” is for the birds. And last week at the neuro-shrink’s office was the first time someone asked me when I was “due” thanks to the “fashionable” empire cut top I had chosen to wear that day. The irony being that this question came from a woman who had to be in her early to mid 60′s and was severely obese, but those were not her problems. Her problems were the ones that made me want to ask her stupid question with the snarky one of when she planned to retire from the world’s oldest profession, as she was dressed in a black mini-skirt with slits on both sides clear up to her hips, thigh high stockings, bright red Reebok sneakers and bright red T-shirt covered with patriotic emblems. AND her greying blonde hair was pulled up into a high pony-tail that would make any cheerleader jealous.

    Yes. I am PMS’ing, too.

  3. Chubby Mommy says:
    March 10, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    So it’s not just me wishing that “dressing our age” means dressing how our Moms did when they were our age, instead of now being expected to dress like we’re 20 years younger?

    I mean, if we get to do it then that old woman in your doctor’s office would realize that SHE ought to do it, too.

  4. Anne says:
    March 11, 2008 at 7:09 am

    I’ve got bad news. Based on personal experience, you can be in perimenopause for at least a decade — possibly more. You can’t use HRT because your body is still thinking you just might reproduce and apparently using HRT when you’re not in menopause will cause bleeding problems. So here I am in my 50s having to use a birth-control Nuvaring to even out my “hormonal chaos.” My gynecologist said this may go on for a few years more. Lucky me!

    And what I’m finding out is that menopause isn’t a sweet transition into no cramps or acne. It is like some kind of cold turkey withdrawal from a “drug” you’ve depended on for years to keep your sanity — estrogen. I just wish it would get over with, but no. It goes on and on.

    I feel sure I’m wearing Mom jeans. I can’t even figure all that out.

    Anne’s last blog post..More Advice on How to Live to Be 100

  5. Chubby Mommy says:
    March 11, 2008 at 9:29 am

    At least a decade??! That truly is bad news, Anne.

    OTOH, if I keep having to argue with my husband over whether the thermostat is too high (it is), and why we need to have a ceiling fan running at night anyway (because I said so), then I might just wind up spending that decade in a nice little climate-controlled cell.

  6. Laura Adkins says:
    April 3, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Listen, I know exactly what you mean! What a relief to have an end to all this monthly annoyance. My sister is 52 and she says it’s really freeing to not have to worry about monthly anything…

    I think we need to find some way to make each age work for us (forty is the new thirty or whatever!) I’m just trying to stay as healthy and on track as I can and move ahead.

    I just saw a good article on different stages of a woman’s life and how to stay healthy. I’m going to try to follow their advice.

    And those blouses make EVERYONE look pregnant!