Chubby Mommy

14Nov
3

Yes, We Still Want a Wii

Ever since the day it came out, I’ve been begging my husband for a Wii. Oh, I know I could just go out and buy one on my own (assuming I can find one for sale), but I know that unless he agrees to the purchase he’ll never play it.

And I want him to. I really do. Because I want to kick his ass at boxing.

Not that I’d tell him that, mind you. No, I’m working the angle of, “Gee, honey, there are all sorts of fitness-oriented games coming out for the Wii. Think of how much fun you’d have watching me jump around doing them.” Which, because he knows me well, he translates to: “Gee, honey, c’mon. I really want to kick your ass at boxing.”

Which, come to think of it, might explain why we still have only a PlayStation. And why, no matter how much I beg, he will NOT play EyeToy Kinetic with me.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Living With Fat
14Nov
3

If It’s Not One Thing It’s Another

So, my knee is starting to do a little better. I’m walking flat surfaces mostly without crutches now, although stairs hurt quite a bit. Sleeping well is another matter entirely: either I take pain killers and wake up groggy, or I skip them and wake up groggy.

Not surprisingly, all of this sleep deprivation has led to some other physical problems. I’m exhausted, and I’ve spent two days flat on my back with a blinding migraine, no doubt exacerbated by the poor quality of sleep. (One would think that the pain killers would address those migraines, but one would be wrong.) And, I ache everywhere.

I’m not sure if this is another fibromyalgia flare-up or not. I haven’t had one since being diagnosed with Celiac disease and eliminating gluten, so perhaps it has more to do with exhaustion than anything else. Or the change in the weather.

That’s right: I’m old enough now to start complaining that the cold makes my bones ache. And, thanks to that injured knee, I have a cane to go along with it.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Life
08Nov
1

A Temporary Setback

No new weight loss to report. Having a fractured kneecap has pretty much sidelined my exercise right as the nightly pain meds have turned me into a couch potato. Again.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Asides
08Nov
6

Open Mouth, Insert Foot, Chew Slowly

Chubby Mommy What with all of the women wearing Empire waist or baby doll tops these days, it’s getting hard to know who’s pregnant, who’s bloated from PMS, and who’s just making a fashion faux pas.

So one might think I’d know better than to ask a swollen-bellied woman standing next to me in the elevator, “When is your baby due?” But considering that she was wearing a top identical to one I’d worn while 9 months pregnant with The Big-Eyed Boy, and she was carrying a Tarjay shopping bag filled with crib bedding, I thought it was a fair question to ask.

Not surprisingly, she didn’t think so and let me know, in no uncertain terms, that she was not only fat but downright tired of people discriminating against her for it. “Women are supposed to have a womanly shape,” she practically screamed in my face.

And since I do not take kindly to being screamed at, much less by strangers, I couldn’t resist snapping back: “Of course they are. But it looks like you ATE a whole other woman to get a shape like that!”

Thank goodness I got off on the next floor.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Living With Fat
05Nov
7

Oh, My Aching Knee

For the past week or so, my knee has been a bit suicidal. I can tell this because the dang thing keeps getting hurt: first, when I tripped on our deck after what we’ll kindly describe as “one too many” cocktails. Again when I slid on our wet yard while trying to navigate downhill. The third time when the thing gave out from underneath me as I walked down the stairs. Then the clincher: Monday night when my husband opened a door that hit me in the backside and sent me sprawling… right onto my knee.

In other words, I’ve been in various stages of pain for days now. Self-medicating didn’t work since, as I pondered while sliding down the yard, it’s not such a smart thing to have a couple of cocktails to dull pain that had been caused by too many cocktails in the first place. Ice didn’t work. Even staying off of it didn’t work. So yesterday I broke down and went to the doctor because she, after all, has the good stuff.

The verdict: I’ve fractured my knee cap. We’re not sure which fall did it, but there’s no doubt that the thing’s fractured.

The prescription: some niiiiiiice pain killers, a directive to keep the thing elevated and iced, and a cane. Or crutches. My call.

Yesterday I gave the crutches a try. My husband, being the penny pincher that he is, suggested we just borrow some crutches from a friend of his. While that sounded like a good idea at the time, the fact is the man’s considerably taller than I am… and so are his crutches. So, in addition to having an aching knee, I also now have very sore armpits.

Today I opted for the cane and, while it works rather nicely if I need to change channels on the TV without a remote or tap my cat’s behind to keep myself amused, it does not help much when it comes to keeping weight off of my foot (and hence keeping my knee from hurting).

But that’s fine. Really it is. Because, as I mentioned, when it comes to pain relief my doctor has the gooooood stuff. And now, so do I!

While laying here on the floor of my office pondering the pain-relieving beauty that is Tylenol with Codeine, I couldn’t help noticing that J&J makes the stuff. I hadn’t realized that. Then again, when it comes to pain medications I’m typically in too big a hurry to take them to notice much about their manufacturing.

Anyway.

Did you know that in addition to making a variety of products we all use (Tylenol, Band-Aids, Baby wash, etc.) J&J is committed to protecting the environment? One area of particular interest is their efforts to minimize paper and packaging. While the company did completely eliminate PVC in its packaging, let’s face it: those regular bottles of Tylenol are STILL heinously over-packaged. Especially when you’re in pain.

Which, by the way, is another reason why I love the prescription stuff.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Living With Fat
23Oct
2

Have Willpower. Will Travel.

Although I forgot to mention it here, I flew down to Austin on Tuesday to be with my mother following her hernia surgery. Ordinarily, that kind of travel spells disaster for my efforts to diet and exercise. Not this time, however.

First thing I did upon arriving at her house: stand on her scale. (This isn’t as callous as it sounds: she was recovering in the hospital and didn’t feel up to visitors.) Granted, her scale was kinder than mine by a couple of pounds, but I figured it gave me a good baseline by which to weigh myself for the rest of the visit.

Second thing I did: drive to the grocery store. Since I have Celiac disease, and can’t eat gluten in any form, dieting can get extra tricky. If I get too hungry, but don’t have healthy yet gluten-free foods on hand, it’s too tempting to reach for potato chips, cheese or some other calorie-laden quick fix.

To prevent that, I bought a variety of salad fixings and fruit, brown rice and a carton of egg whites. (My one splurge was a small package of tortilla chips just in case I found myself dying for something to crunch besides my own knuckles.) After an hour in the kitchen I had several small salads fixed, wrapped and ready-to-eat in the fridge. Ditto with sliced fruit and brown rice. By the time I got her home, I was confident I’d not only be able to stick to my diet but would be able to feed her something more healthy than the take-out food she usually lives on.

I’ve started both mornings that I’ve been here by exercising for a half-hour in front of her TV. Nothing spectacular, mind you: some jogging in place, push-ups (the girl kind), squats and lunges, some dumbbell work and, of course, crunches. Lots and lots of crunches. So many, in fact, that at one point my mother wondered aloud whether she could’ve avoided hernia surgery had she been better about exercising her abdominals. (Answer: well, duh.)

And, of course, I’ve continued to sprinkle Sensa on all of my food without fail.

So now that I head home tomorrow morning, I figured I’d stand on her scale one more time before bedtime. You know, just to see if I’ve been a good girl on my diet or not.

Baby, I must’ve been extra good, because somehow I’ve lost another 2 pounds while I’ve been here. Sure hope my scale agrees when I get home!

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Sensa, Weight Loss Matters
14Oct
3

Exercising Behind A Locked Door

Best thing about my new office space: having plenty of space and my own TV. Now, instead of tripping over the theater seating in our family room, I can lock my door and do aerobics and Pilates.

Not that I am, mind you. But I could.

Come to think of it, I may have to move my treadmill desk upstairs now. Heh, I may never come out!

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Exercise
14Oct
6

The Good, The Bad, And The Flabby

Weight loss is continuing, albeit at a slower pace. I’ve been exercising quite a bit more lately, so as the scale stops reflecting rapid changes, I’m trying to convince myself that I’m replacing fat with muscle.

One truly good thing for my diet/exercise efforts: we moved my office from the basement (where there was a fridge conveniently located nearby) to the top floor of the house. Now when I want a snack I have to hustle down 26 steps, which isn’t really that big of a problem: going downstairs is easy. It’s the 26 steps to get back to my office that slow me down. Ditto if I want a cigarette (we don’t smoke in the house).

Yesterday, those trips — along with a few extras for doing laundry, moving the remainder of my office upstairs, dragging up the votive candle holders and other stuff necessary to prettify my space — added an additional 1109 steps to my daily average. Today my thighs and butt are definitely feeling that increase.

The bad part of moving my office is that I somehow messed up my right rotator cuff. Seriously messed it up. As in, I had to brush my teeth with my left hand today, and turning the steering wheel while driving my son to school was sheer torture. Rather than let this derail my exercise plan, I’m going to see my doctor this morning and demand painkillers. Good ones this time, too.

Of course, that means I’m going to have to step on the doctor’s scale, a self-esteem crushing machine that inevitably says I weigh 10 lbs. more than my home scale does. (I’m convinced that’s intentional since the stress will either trigger a heart attack which would make my doctor more money, or it’ll trigger depression which will make my doctor more money. See, like I said: intentional.)

This time, though, I won’t have to stand there listening to her cluck while I try levitating. This time — even with the stupid scale intentionally inflating my weight — I’ll still check in weighing 15 lbs. less. I’m just not going to give her the satisfaction of admitting I did it by following her advice to eat less and exercise, and that’s intentiona on my part.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Weight Loss Matters
09Oct
5

So Far, So Good With Sensa

Previously I’d written about tastants, substances which stimulate the taste buds and thus lead to greater satiety but lower calorie consumption. Now, thanks to the folks at Sensa, I’m getting to put that theory to the test.

Sensa, for those of you who haven’t heard of it, may very well be the best thing to happen to dieting. (Read on to find how well it’s been working for me!) Starting from the principle that weight loss involves retraining the biological urge to overeat, the tastants in Sensa turn your nose and tongue into diet aids. Simply put, after you sprinkle the stuff on your food you’ll find yourself feeling full faster. Much faster, in my experience.

So what’s my experience been so far? I’ve lost 11 pounds in the past 13 days. Eleven pounds — gone just like that. Yes, I’ve been exercising but not rigorously: I do the treadmill for 20-30 minutes per day and use free weights every other day.

Have I been dieting? Yes, and no. I’ve been making smart food choices: egg white and veggie omelets for breakfast, salads with vinaigrette for lunch, a small dinner eaten early without snacking later. But — and this is the strange part — they’ve been easy choices to make. A salad actually fills me up so I’m not still hungry (and prone to temptation) afterward.

In fact, for the first time in years I can say that I’m not constantly thinking about food. That’s quite an accomplishment for someone whose previous favorite entertainment was coming up with new recipes for my newsletter (and the forthcoming cookbook).

In other words, I am a BIG fan of this stuff (though one who’s getting smaller every day). Since I have a 2-month supply, you can expect to be reading about my progress. Heck, I’ll even post a before/after photo in December so you can see how well it’s worked (and so I can gloat).

Want to try it yourself? Order yours today and use ROCKETXL as the coupon code to receive 15% off your order (no minumum) and free ground shipping.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Sensa and tagged with , , , , , ,
25Sep
6

I’m Not Tough Enough For Texas

Lately, my mother has been campaigning — in the quiet, round-about-way that mothers do — for us to move down to Texas where she lives. For the past 20 years of my life, we’ve lived so far apart that seeing each other requires plenty of calendar-comparing, not to mention the financial planning that higher fuel costs require these days. My oldest brother, who lives all of 15 minutes from her, thinks it would be a ducky idea if I moved down there, too: no doubt he’d enjoy a break from being the go-to child.

There’s a lot that I love about Texas, not the least of which is the people. I get Texans, having been raised by one of their proudest, and I do love how easy it is to fit in among them if you’re used to using and deciphering Texas-speak. It’s a language all to itself.

Take “bless your heart”, for instance. When uttered by a Northerner it means pretty much what it says: that you’ve done something nice and they want to say something nice in response. When a Texan says it, though, watch out: what it really means is “well, aren’t you a hoot?” And calling someone a hoot really means you’re too polite to admit they’re a pain in the ass. I know this because most of my family members used to bless my heart and tell me I’m a hoot regularly until I figured it out.

Distance is different in Texas-speak, too. “Down the road a ways” means a drive of 200 miles or so. “Up the road a piece” means less than 200 miles, but not much. And to say that something’s “a stone’s throw away” refers to a distance sufficient enough to require emptying one’s bladder before setting out, but you won’t quite need sandwiches for the journey.

I get confused about mealtimes in Texas, though. There’s breakfast, but since I’m a big Tex-Mex fan that meal usually involves corn tortillas — something I ordinarily associate with eating lunch. Except you don’t eat “lunch” in Texas: you eat dinner around noontime, and later you eat supper. (Or is it the other way around? Like I said, I get confused.)

Ultimately, as I keep explaining to my mother, there’s one immutable fact about Texas that keeps VH and I from sitting down to craft Dallas resumes or to do much exploring of the job market anywhere down that way: it’s freaking hot. All the time. Even when they say it’s not hot.

I recently explained this to my mother after her most recent round of covert nagging. “Sorry, Mom,” I said. “I can handle a few hot weeks in the summer, but that 90-degrees at Christmas time thing you had going on last year? That’s too hot for my well-padded self to deal with. Why don’t you move up here? I promise I’ll take good care of you.”

To which she responded: “Oh, isn’t that nice of you to suggest? Bless your heart, you’re such a hoot.”

Like I said, I get Texans. I just don’t have plans to become one again anytime soon.

Posted by Chubby Mommy in Life
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